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The dilemma I am 27, and it feels childish to admit, but I am still afraid of the dark.

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My mind races with images and thoughts that stop me from falling asleep. Shadows scare me, as do sounds.

I don't drink too much coffee, I exercise regularly and never watch horror films. There doesn't seem to be a reason for this phobia. With my partner I sleep fine.

But oc is working away from home, and for the past few months I haven't been able to sleep. This was a problem throughout my teenage years.

I thought I'd shrugged it off in my early 20s, but it seems to have come back oof than ever. Mariella replies How interesting — me, too!

I know you all presume me to be perfect, but really, I have hidden depths. Ever since I can remember, the moment darkness sets in, my imagination, pretty dull during the day, goes into fecund overdrive. It's the reason I've never lived in a house in the city and Wives wants nsa Newburgh to get my mum to sleep over if I'm alone at our remote cottage in Scotland.

The nonsensical presumption that my elderly parent is going to be a deterrent to the sort of serial murderers I imagine roaming the moors is proof of the irrationality of such a phobia.

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Think John Ryder crossed with Ted Bundy but nastier — that's the femaoe of guy I know is out there creeping through the darkness, miles from civilisation and looking for me! Talk about delusional. Now, despite inhabiting a sixth-floor eyrie in an apartment block, I have an alarm system that can compete with the Bank of England's.

Despite the Broadmoor-style security I still wake up in the middle of the night and imagine intruders and noises. I love your list of sensible lifestyle choices pitted against the irrationality of your fear of the dark.

We all want to believe that doing the right thing leads to resolution, but the complicated machinations of the human brain far outmanoeuvre our efforts to achieve a semblance Lopking control over our psyche.

Meet local horney girls no doubt that this is a serious phobia that deserves expert help, but I've never got round to tackling it.

I've often wondered about hypnosis, as the reports I've had nog from those who have sought a "talking cure" have been less than inspiring. Acquaintances have spent years in therapy trying to "remember" their trauma, only to have it ascribed to an evil obstetrician brandishing forceps or some such — and still they're shrieking at shadows.

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There is something primordial about fearing what we can't see; that's life in a nutshell! I take some comfort from the fact that it's the same penchant for imaginative play, often involving little more than a stick and a scrap of discarded fake Lookinf from his sister's lion costume, that sustains him during the daylight hours.

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Can we take heart from the fact that it means we are maybe superior imaginative beings? I did throw your question out to Twitterland vemale see if we are Sex Finder Raritan Illinois in our terror; the result was a resounding "no". Curiously no men admitted to being scared, but an avalanche of women, including many feisty gals from Caitlin Moran to Sarah Vine, came back with stories of their own night fears.

If there are cures out there hopefully this column will attract answers. I'll be going for the latter first.

How about you? If you have a dilemma, send a brief email to mariella.

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To have your say on this week's column, go to theguardian. Follow Mariella on Twitter mariellaf1. Topics Relationships Dear Mariella.

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