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Let me start here: I really, really, really love my husband.

Adultery is not on the table. I feel attractive.

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He feels attractive. We are both plenty laid, plenty happy, and plenty in love with each other. When I was in college, I slept around — a lot.

I always had a boyfriend, was about to start up with a new boyfriend, or was fucking someone in between boyfriends. I was also much cheated on myself.

I was safe, used protection, and got tested regularly. I slept with guys a little bit younger and a little bit older, but mostly guys who were like me, and I regret that. I find older men attractive — can any woman alive say she would kick Harrison Ford out of bed for eating crackers?

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Or how about Samuel L. Fjck Connery, Nicolas Cage, all those idols from my teen years: My attractions have also changed and expanded, and I still find lots of men — men who are not my husband — smoking hot.

I miss being able to scope out men with abandon. I miss the idea that I could Giirls a crowd, pick a man and decide: I miss the anonymous sex, the one-night stands, the friends-with-benefits arrangements for the nights when the bar hunts turned up cold.

Because they were fun. That moment when you realize he likes to be kissed that way, and touched this way, and he moves like this and thrusts like that.

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Sex can be fun. It can be an intimate connection between two people, and when it comes to my husband and I, it is.

Because there are so many hot guys in this world. One of my friends calls them snackity snacks. I see them hou day: And I miss the days when I could chat them up, and then have a good shot at fucking them in the backseat of their car.

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Because I was that girl. And as much as you might call me a slut, as much as you might say I was a whore, it was fjck.

I miss those days. I miss those partners.

I miss sleeping around. But I love my husband much more than I love sleeping around. So I go home.

I turn off tto lights, because I always liked it in the dark. We curl up against each other and make love. I make that decision every single day.

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